Leah Messer Memoir

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It's been a long road for Messer, who has been part of the Teen Mom franchise since 2010. In May, she released her memoir, Hope, Grace, & Faith, in which she revealed her struggles with her family. Leah Messer, 27, has been extremely open with fans since starting her journey on ‘Teen Mom 2’ in 2011, but now, she can add author to her resume as she prepares to release Hope, Grace & Faith, a.

  1. 'Teen Mom' Star Leah Messer Talks Addiction, Abortion and More in New Memoir (Exclusive) We're sorry, but a problem is preventing your video from playing.
  2. The reality TV star has a new memoir coming out on May 5, Hope, Grace, & Faith, and while fans have to wait a little more than a week from now to read it in full, some of the content is already.

Teen Mom 2 star Leah Messer has a new memoir on the way, and excerpts that have already been made public have revealed that Leah's past is even more painful than fans of the show ever realized.

In the book, Leah opens up about her addictions, stating that there were times when she was so high she didn't even realize she was on camera.

She reveals for the first time that she aborted Jeremy Calvert's baby and nearly took her own life afterward.

And now, in an excerpt published this week by The Ashley's Reality Roundup, Leah reveals that as a young teen, she was forced by her mother to perform sex acts with an older boy.

Memoir

Please be warned that the following article contains graphic descriptions of childhood sexual trauma.

1.A Painful Past

Leah Messer has always had a complicated relationship with her mother, Dawn Spears.

2.Worse Than We Thought

Now, Leah is opening up for the first time about the abuse she endured during her harrowing upbringing.

3.Sharing Her Pain

Leah's book won't be published until May 5, but The Ashley has obtained an advance copy and is the first to report on a traumatic childhood incident Leah describes in her debut memoir.

4.A Tumultuous Home Life

Leah sets the stage by revealing that she had already lost her virginity at age 13, and her mother was going through a rough patch in her marriage with her husband Lee.

5.A Lack of Boundaries

Messer says that on the nights when Lee would go out drinking, her mother would stay behind and hang out with Leah and her friends.

6.A Painful Memory

Leah says she was often embarrassed by Dawn's behavior, particularly on the night that she suggested the group of teens engage in a game of spin the bottle.

7.Confused Roles

'She would let us have friends over and she’d hang out with all of us,” Leah writes of her high school years.

8.Trying to Understand

“I think because she never went to high school, or even got to be a normal teenager, there was a part of her that felt like she had missed out on something,' she continues.

9.Repeating the Excuses

'She wasn’t even allowed to talk to boys before she met my dad and got pregnant with me, so she liked hanging out with our friends and being around that energy,” Leah writes.

10.Difficult Times

“Around that time, she and Lee were going through a rough patch,” Leah states in her book.

11.Unpredictable Parenting

“She had started seeing a therapist who diagnosed her as bipolar (with depression and anxiety), but she wouldn’t take her meds so she was totally unpredictable,' Messer recalls.

12.Ups and Downs

'One second she’d be flying high and the next she’d spiral into a dark place,' Leah writes.

13.Humiliation

'I think she also just didn’t know how to handle having teenage daughters, so she’d either be so strict it was embarrassing or she’d want to hang out and act like she was the young cool mom— which was also embarrassing,' Leah adds.

14.Difficult Circumstances

'There was no middle ground; it was always one extreme or the other,” she continues.

15.The Fateful Night

Leah recalls one night when her stepfather was out on the town, and she had invited several friends over, including an older teen named Mike.

16.Diffusing the Situation

'Mike spun, and I was relieved when the bottle didn’t land on me. When I spun, it landed on his brother, so I gave him a peck on the cheek and we all laughed,' Leah remembers.

17.Intense Awkwardness

'When it was Mike’s turn to go again, the bottle landed in the empty space next to me. There was an awkward pause and he went to spin it again.”

18.A Dark Turn

“Before he could, my mom leaned over and pushed the bottle so that it was pointing right at me. I shook my head and said, ‘No way,’ but she started wrestling with me and telling me I had to do it,” Leah writes. “I was laughing, because I thought she was just teasing me, but then she started pushing both of us towards the bedroom I shared with [my sister] Victoria.

19.Horror

“The next thing I knew I was in the room with Mike and my mom was holding the door shut from the other side so I couldn’t get out. I remember feeling cornered, like a trapped animal,” Leah goes on. “I didn’t want to kiss Mike, much less have sex with him, but that’s exactly what happened.”

20.All Dawn's Doing

Leah notes that she does not blame Mike for the incident, as she feels that he was also uncomfortable and felt pressured into the situation.

21.Shared Pain

“He didn’t force himself on me,” Leah writes. “I think he was actually as nervous and uncomfortable as I was. At one point he even asked me, ‘Are you sure, Leah? Because this is weird.’ I wasn’t sure (and it was definitely weird), but I still hadn’t learned how to say no. So I just shrugged and said, ‘I guess.’ It was easier to just let it happen than to think about why my mom had pushed me into that room in the first place.

22.A Nightmare

“We were in there for maybe 10 minutes and it was the grossest sex I’ve ever had. He was all sweaty and grunting… When it was over, I felt totally ashamed of myself, but I knew there was no way I could take back what I had just done. Coming out of that room was the most humiliating walk of shame,' she recalls.
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Leah Messer Kids

Leah Messer Memoir

23.The Final Humiliation

Leah notes that her mother found the entire incident humorous, writing, “I remember my mom laughing as we walked out. Then I think she just lost interest because she went to bed shortly after.”

24.Bravery

We commend Leah for speaking so candidly about such a deeply painful incident from her past.

25.Reluctant Approval

For her part, Dawn has yet to respond to the book, but she stated last year that she's accepted the idea of her daughter writing it.

26.The Healing Process

'I have no objections against [Leah] writing the book,' Dawn said at the time. 'Everyone is going to have something to learn from it, and if it takes our lives for other people’s eyes to be open with their families then I’m all for it.”

Wait! There's more! Just click 'Next' below:

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If you're a longtime Teen Mom 2 viewer, you'll probably recall the infamous incident in which Leah Messer passed out while holding a baby.

At the time, the mother of three adamantly denied that she was struggling with a substance abuse issue.

When Leah checked into rehab later that year, she claimed she was only being treated for an emotional disorder.

It wasn't until the publication of excerpts from her first memoir earlier this week that Leah confirmed that what fans witnessed back in 2015 was indeed the result of a long and potentially deadly battle with prescription pill addiction.

“I start to realize something is really wrong with me when one of the executive producers tells me that I couldn’t keep my eyes open on camera,' she writes in a new excerpt published by Us Weekly.

'The crazy thing is, I didn’t even know I was that out of it when they were filming.' Password protect zip folder mac. Netflix mac client.

While the reality TV aspect might be unique, from there, Leah describes a chain of events that's all too common in America these days.

“I’ve been taking a lot of medications, but I’m not a drug addict,' Leah remembers assuring herself.

'After they botched my spinal tap when I was giving birth to my youngest daughter, the hospital discharged me with refill prescriptions for Hydrocodone, Oxycodone, and Tylenol 3, but what really knocked me out was the Diazepam.'

At that point in the book, Leah describes a common nightmare brought about by the American healthcare system:

Messer

'My doctor prescribed it to calm the free-falling anxiety I experience every time I try to wrap my mind around the stack of medical bills piling up on my kitchen counter,' she writes.

'With all the doctor appointments I’ve been juggling for Ali, my oldest, I never had time to schedule a follow-up appointment to figure out why I’m still in so much pain, so my dad has been hooking me up with the same medications.”

Leah Messer Book Audible

Leah says she was stuck in a vicious cycle -- she knew the pills were destroying her body in the longterm, but she needed them to keep functioning on a day-to-day basis.

“I keep taking the pills so I can get up, get the twins ready for school, look after my youngest, and face the daily reality of my oldest daughter’s diagnosis with a rare form of muscular dystrophy — without completely falling apart,” she writes.

“At first, the medications helped dull the pain in my body and my mind, but at some point, they stopped helping,' Leah adds.

'I just want to feel normal, but I’m either in so much physical pain that I can barely stand, or so foggy from the pills that I look like a junkie,' the mother of three continues.

Nour paint brushes online. 'Deep down, though, I wonder if I’m so broken there’s no medication in the world that can fix me. I don’t know how I got to this place.'

Leah says she would have liked nothing more than to step away from the spotlight during this difficult time, but her financial obligations left her with little choice but to continue filming.

'I don’t really have a choice anyway. I agreed to live in this fishbowl. Between the mortgage on our house, Ali’s medical bills, and the money I naively kept lending my dad to help him get back up on his feet, I need the income,' she writes.

“That’s when I really knew. I was like, ‘This is not right.’ And when I would try to stop taking the medication and would physically have withdrawals, that’s when I reached out to whom I thought was the best support in that time, which was my mom and my stepdad and that didn’t work out.”

Leah credits her manager and MTV producers for finally helping her get clean.

“So [even] if I’m trying my best, but I’m not in my healthiest, I’m not thriving in my life, how am I going to be the mother that they need to be? How am I going to be the woman that I’m meant to be? So that, you know, that was 100 percent the turning point for my life.”

Leah Messer Book

We commend Leah and all those who have made the difficult decision to seek treatment.

Leah Messer Biography

Her memoir, Hope, Grace, and Faith will be available on May 5.